Psalm 78:5, 7 God gave God’s decrees to Jacob and established a law for Israel, and commanded them to teach their children…So that they might put their trust in God, and not forget the deeds of God, but keep Abba God’s commandments…
Introduction
If you’ve been around, then you’ve probably heard the phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” It’s a great colloquialism; one bringing comfort to those who may feel they themselves are unlovely. Yet, as great and comforting as it could be, the phrase is often shrugged off. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, blah bla blah, I know… Much like your teen giving a hard-eye-roll when you, once again, tell them they are so handsome and beautiful.
Why don’t we believe this?
Because the world and our society tell us differently. We’re regularly bombarded with images and messages (implicit and explicit) telling us we don’t measure up. In this war between us and a myriad of industries, our bodies are the battle ground and all too often we are ready to let our psyches and souls be dragged off as prisoners of war. So, we don’t believe that beauty can actually be in the eye of the one who deems us beautiful because we don’t deem ourselves beautiful, wonderful, fleshy miracles, daily breaking boundaries of possible and impossible.
Our attention is drawn away toward that which brings death and destruction and not on that which brings life, so we cannot to see the truth of our beauty and strength (no matter where you find yourself in this journey from point a to point b). Immersed in this diverted attention, we spend our entire lives focused on how we fall short, forgetting to live liberated and loved, finding ourselves out of oil and out of time, locked out of the feasts and festivals of life .
Matthew 25:1-13
Now, while [the foolish bridesmaids] were away purchasing [olive oil], the bridegroom went to the wedding feast and the prepared bridesmaids entered with him and the door was shut. Now later the remaining bridesmaids came and were saying, “Lord, Lord, open up for us.” But the [bridegroom] answered and said, “Truly I tell you, I do not know you.” [And then Jesus said,] “Therefore, you watch, because you do not know the day or the hour.” [1]
Mt. 25:10-13
Matthew drops us deep into Palestinian culture while dropping a bomb of eschatological judgment. Jesus’s parable of what the kingdom of heaven is, is drawn from “wedding customs in first century Palestine,” where bridesmaids would usher the bridegroom to the house of the bride and then both of them would be paraded to the wedding venue for the ceremony and subsequent feasts. [2] But the hard part (the eschatological bomb) isn’t Jesus’s recourse to historic Palestinian wedding customs; this makes sense. What’s hard is that the bridesmaids are divided into “practically wise” and “foolish.” Separating the main characters of a story into two groups is a well-used ancient literary device used to demand attention and cause inner and outer disruption as the one who hears listens. For one group, it will not end well.[3]
After telling the audience that there are two groups of bridesmaids (one foolish, one practically wise), Jesus explains that these ten bridesmaids took their lamps and went to wait for the bridegroom; but five did not bring any more oil than what they carried in their lamps. Then, all of the bridesmaids fell asleep for the bridegroom was delayed in coming. Then! Now, in the middle of the night an outcry happened: behold! The bridegroom! Come out to meet him! All ten wake up, but five awaken to their flames about to extinguish for lack of oil. Five came prepared. The five lacking oil panic and request help from the other five who are prepared. No avail. The prepared five send the five lacking oil to the market, the amount of oil we have will not suffice for you and us; go to the ones selling so you might purchase [oil] for yourself. Now as the unprepared bridesmaids are off bartering for oil, the bridegroom comes and the festivities commence. The door is shut. And it won’t open again, not even for the remaining five bridesmaids. They are left out in the cold.
Whether or not the prepared bridesmaids shared is not the point of the parable. This parable isn’t even about staying awake.[4] Keeping in mind that all ten bridesmaids fell asleep and all ten woke up at the same time, the point is: preparedness stemming from love. The emphasis falls on the practically wise bridesmaids being prepared and wise, carrying expectant hope of the bridegroom’s arrival at any hour, thus the extra oil.[5] This isn’t the type of cramming and rushing at the last minute, [6] but because of their love[7] the practically wise bridesmaids brought extra so they would be ready. You can’t manufacture that type of love at the last minute, it is there and it is working behind the scenes making the object of love, the beloved, beholden by the eye, the beautiful one, the one longed for and desired.[8] The preparedness of love, in this story, redefines family because of the fixed mutual gaze of the beloved and the lover.[9]
Conclusion
Jesus’s use of this parable is to speak to those who are listening and to refocus their gaze on the true bridegroom: himself. Jesus is eager to draw God’s beloved onto to himself thus unto God, to bring them deep into life, love, and liberation; to enter with them into the great wedding feast, to be celebrated, and rejoiced.[10]
Is God jealous? Yes. Jealous for you, for you to know the depth of how much God loves you. Jealous for those outside of this building to know they are so loved by God. So loved that God will move heaven and earth to be born in Christ in the lap of Mary to write it across the starry night sky. So desired, God will reorder life and death in the resurrection of Christ from the dead to shout it to the ends of the cosmos. So cherished, God by God’s Spirit will draw intimately near to the beloved—transcending God’s self—to show that such meager jars of clay are marvelously and wonderfully made, beautiful, beloved. And all of it to draw the focus away from death and destruction and toward life, love, and liberation; away from all the myths and narratives telling the beloved they are inferior and don’t measure up, need to be this or that, or must deny their own selves to be loved. God draws the beloved’s attention away from that toward true, unyielding, always and forever, never-stopping, never giving up divine love, love for you just as you are.
Beloved, dare to believe God loves you so much and that you know you are the apple of God’s eye, the most beautiful and wonderful thing God’s ever seen (each of you! And all of you together!). Turn your heads to the still small voice calling your name, reminding you how precious you are. Double down. Double down so much that you bring extra oil to be ready for when the Bridegroom comes.
[1] Translation mine unless otherwise noted.
[2] Anna Case-Winters Matthew Belief: A Theological Commentary on the Bible Eds Amy Plantinga Pauw and William C. Placher. Louisville: WJK, 2015. 275. “In wedding customs of first century Palestine, it was common for the bridegroom to be escorted by such a company of bridesmaids/virgins to the home of the bride. They would then escort the couple to the house where the wedding and the wedding feasts were to take place.”
[3] Case-Winters, Matthew, 275. “This contrasting of the ‘wise’ and the ‘foolish’ is an ancient conventional device used in wisdom literature. Jesus uses this device both here and in the Sermon on the Mount where a wise man builds on a rock and a foolish man builds on sand (724-27). … The earlier motif of Jesus as the bridegroom (9:15) and the eschaton as a wedding banquet (22:2) is picked up once again here.”
[4] R. T. France The Gospel of Matthew The New International Commentary on the New Testament. Gen. Ed Joel B. Green. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 2007. 947. “Why then did the five [foolish] girls miss the feast? It was not that five slept and five stayed awake: v. 5 says explicitly that they all slept and all had to be awakened by the midnight shout. The problem goes back to the preparation they had made before going to sleep.”
[5] Case-Winters, Matthew, 275. “The wise bridesmaids may serve as examples of wisdom and anticipation of the advent of the Messiah. Such a reading is more consistent with the Gospel’s direction and its overall positive portrayal of women.”
[6] France, Matthew, 947. “But the point is simply that readiness, whatever form it takes, is not something that can be achieved by a last-minute adjustment. It depends on long-term provision, and if that has been made, the wise disciple can sleep secure in the knowledge that everything is ready.”
[7] Cardenal, Solentiname, 476. “Oil gives light and joy, and that’s the way love is. Each person is a lamp, but a person without love is a lamp that’s gone out.’”
[8] Ernesto Cardenal The Gospel in Solentiname Translated by, Donald D. Walsh. Eugene: Wipf & Stock, 2010. 476. “Olivia: ‘It’ll be too late to look for it, because love can’t be learned in a day, you learn love all your life, and you teach it to your children, or else you teach your children selfishness. And people that have grown up with a selfish mentality and that belong to a society that’s all selfish, how are they going to change suddenly.’”
[9] France, Matthew, 950. “The comparatively trivial lapse of a failure to be provide with oil has come to symbolize an ultimately false relationship; they are not part of Jesus’ true family (12:50).”
[10] Cardenal, Solentiname, 478. “Oscar: ‘It’s a great joy, man! In a feast we all get together and we share everything that’s there, and we all take part in all the talking and we’re all happy; you’re full of joy. And when we’re all together here, you feel happy, you feel a joy, it’s a kingdom that we’re all sharing in, it’s a little like, like the coming of the bridegroom, I’d say.’”